It's Long, It's Hard

sitting here in the silence
trying to figure out what went wrong
i tried my best
but i guess my best wasn't good enough
for her... you know

not enough money in my pockets
for all the fancy things she wants
been working my fingers to the bone
she never has time to notice

she's always trying to live a life
that's way too far beyond us
and now she doesn't have the patience
to wait for me to give it to her anymore

gonna go out on the town and leave me
gonna punish me no there's no forgiveness
in her mind it's been my fault all along
it's me you know I've been the one
who's been keeping her down

she turns her head and doesn't listen
when i tell her you'll never find love
not the way you want to get it
the path your planning on taking
it's long, it's hard
and it's way too deceiving

Too Far From Grace

oh i was willing to accept you for who you are
but you always thought you were a shooting star
lost on this earth because you went too far
so you feel trapped here in my galaxy

and some where out there is still a place
you keep telling me that you have to find
but i know you're just trying to soften the blow
for when you think you have to leave

now I can take it all in just like any man
but I cant take this thing that you call love
I can feel my heart growing smaller day by day
my poor soul is falling too far from grace

and when i try to look into your eyes
you always find the time to look the other way
a million words couldn't even describe it
this feeling we shared has finally gone away

stuck in time we try to play the game
but we both know what you're planning
you lay it out there before go out on the town
you're gonna find the right moment and fly away

yea way up in the the sky where you always look
you're gonna try and see if you can find your home
too bad you never found peace in your heart
because if you would of really looked
you could of truly seen you've been there all along

I'm not the cheating kind

day or night they all come to me
holding their hearts in their hands
always crying on my shoulder
telling me about how they hurt them
because they feel I'm their only friend

one by one they come knowing
that they are safe here with me
that they can tell me all they want
and I'll be here listening to what they say
because i really want to help them

hoping one day that they will finally see me
not just as something or someone to run to
to get away and flee from their demons
the ones that chase them from him and into my arms
you know they know where they run to

but they don't want to talk about it
they even turn their heads when i see them
they know I'm not the cheating kind
some kind of friend when they shun me
must be hard to come terms with shame inside

but it's hard for me to find someone
that would understand how they need me
somehow i feed them with what they need
to survive for just a little bit longer
to stretch my insanity to it's limits

never knowing any love for myself
and when i get a chance to explain it
they'll never understand
the jealousy over runs them
a woman can't be friends with a man
and keep it strictly platonic, it's not in them

but I'm here to say
it's been happening to me, all of my life
sharing thoughts beyond a simple hello
giving comfort whenever i can
being there for when they need me
lending a friendly helping hand

not wanting anything in underlying returns
just wanting to see them smile
turning that frown upside down
hearing them just let go
of the things that make them cry

This Thing That You Call Love

You know, you know
Baby you know, Baby you know
its too late, we're too far gone
this time its for real, my heart you did steal
its all over the floor, my blood you did spill
this is it, ya this is it, it's finally come
my soul is undone, you've finally won
in the game of love, ya in the game of love
no one wins when one of you sin
leading the other one on
like there's still hope to save what began
so, so long ago, when we first met
when i fell in love with you
ya when i looked into your eyes
and what a surprise
i could see my future within them
so i did thought with the signs you gave me
that something stirred inside to greet me
instead time would only deceive me
leave me cold and yearning for love
when it wasn't you that would give it
and now there's this other guy
always calling on the phone
even daring to knock on our home
coming by when I'm not there
when i have to leave and trust you
and hurts me so when i know
it's not me you're giving your love to
Darling what did he promise you
that I'm not providing too
or is your heart so cold
it doesn't matter where it comes from
as long as you get yours
this time its all on you
the consequences you'll answer to
knowing you cant look me in the eye
honey you know the truth hurts
more than any old lie that you adhere too
it's time to pay the piper
cuz this thing that you call love has died

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 5/15/2013

The Aftermath

Well it's happening again
my life seems to be set on repeat
it doesn't matter what i believe
there doesn't seem to be relief
from all these lies and deceit

Why do they have to hurt me so
when all i give is what i know
they just take all that they can
and then they want to leave
with my heart laid out in their hands

My soul exposed to this hell
tormented pleasure with extremes
they all start out oh so well
then they fall in to the doom
it's all become a swirling mixed up world

And I'm caught up in the aftermath
trying to decide if it was even worth my time
to let someone in that will eventually
use what they learn and turn it back on me
just to claim they had the right along

It makes it tough to evaluate
because you thought you knew them
then it's only in the end of your long run
when you've finally come to your wits end
that's the time when they'll show their true face

So you're left in the dark in the cold place
all alone waiting for the new day
contemplating everything and what life is for
wondering if you'll ever love again
or if you have ever, ever loved at all

The Valley's Singing

Waiting for the morning
for the sun to tell the time
it will be yelling conformation
of what i already know
you've been out there cheating
all over town

I toss and turn
throwing up such a sweat
this bed is on fire
burning passions
begging for their pleasures
just memories long forgotten
no chance to repeat

The river deepens
each and every night
these tears keep falling
when i think i hear your voice
the valley's singing
the storm is brewing
my heart is crying
brought on by fire and ice

Nothing's sacred
your whispers still linger in the air
making empty promises
then you try and break them
no remorse when you can
no faith for the ones that love you
they're all fools if they even dare

It's getting harder
i see you in my sleep
you're everywhere around me
a ghost with nowhere to go
relief and torture
too complex to overthrow
there's nowhere to hide
God forbid
I'm still...loving you

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 5/12/13)

Love in Little Bits to Feed Them

I lost my heart
oh not because i had to
and not because it was old and feeble
i lost a little piece here, a little piece there
even though i struggled to save them
they were slowly torn away
sometimes they just finally fell off
other times they were yanked off intentionally
in either case they hurt so profoundly
others were just so numb i didn't notice the notch it left
i felt the pain at first in most cases
some i endured throughout it's processes
i could feel my inner happiness slowly fade away
it was something that came at me in many levels
it's still something that leaves me even today
i don't feel them re-filling their spaces
but i live my life hoping they rest in peace
my dreams are riddled with their despair
leaving me feel helpless as they disappear
awaking my sleep with sweat and tears
and i go on trying to fill my day
trying to forget what's brought me here
but it's hard and harder to lie to myself
because my soul is scratching to get out
it can't stand or handle the constrictions
knowing what i do is killing it too
maybe it's time to cast in my dime
and pretend it all going to be alright
pray for it to end and hope for a restart
then maybe it will finally have a chance to heal
leaving this earth for those who will steal
love in little bits to feed them !

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 5/9/2013)

Feeling the Urge To Resist

it's a sad thing
to see me this a way
it's a cruel dream
that keeps repeating in my sleep
it's crazy how it stings
too much heartbreak to save my world
how could i be so blind not to see
what you would eventually do to me

so the clouds have come to share my despair
the sun won't shine and the rain won't stop
it's all come together in one big blob
girl how am i going to get over you

i try not to think
about all the good times i had with you
all the laughter that has been removed
the comfort of your arms when i awake
the devil in your eyes when you began to cheat

so why do i feel like i was wrong
when it was you that broke our trust
honey i tried and tried for so long
even forgave you for being with that other man

is this what i deserve for being above it
is this what destiny does when it turns it head
i was at the end of my wits raising my hands
is this all that there is when a heartbreak wins

it's a sad thing
to see me this a way
it's a cruel dream
that keeps repeating in my sleep
it's crazy how it stings
too much heartbreak to save my world
how could i be so blind not to see
what you would eventually do to me

so the clouds have come to share my despair
the sun won't shine and the rain won't stop
it's all come together in one big blob
girl how am i going to get over you

they say that love is blind
but they don't say anything about when it's unkind
all of your friends turn you away
choosing to believe all of her lies
she's covered her tracks with my blood

it's all i can do
to keep my above the clouds
not get carried away into the lies
but i have to some how come out of this love affair
feeling the urge to resist while protecting my pride

it's a sad thing
to see me this a way
it's a cruel dream
that keeps repeating in my sleep
it's crazy how it stings
too much heartbreak to save my world
how could i be so blind not to see
what you would eventually do to me

so the clouds have come to share my despair
the sun won't shine and the rain won't stop
it's all come together in one big blob
girl how am i going to get over you
feeling the urge to resist

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 5/5/2013)