The Tears of Christmas

The feeling of loss was seemingly at it's apex again.
Too many tears were lost to tally for today's count alone.
One would think one's own body would be permanently dehydrated by now.
Just how many years have passed and how many more are to come is a guess.
This kind of torture is more than an Angel or God could handle for sure.
So why is it thrust on my shoulders to bear and weigh heavy upon my poor heart.
Surely it is someone's idea of a joke or sad excuse to repay me by some spirit.
There is no other answer as the days build up leaving me heart broken in despair.
The pressure always builds even more when i see what others have that I don't.
Why should I be the one passed on or dismissed by joy and happiness?
What did I do to deserve such a doom that warrants this exclusion?
And yet I can feel joy and hope for those that do get to indulge in one of life's bliss.
Small smiles of happiness that glow brightest with unconditional love and admiration.
How is my denial for the better of mankind in any way, fashion or form?
Am I chosen to bear the pain because I alone can handle it more than others ?
Is my heart and soul colder than I even know to surpass that of the universe?
Will I get a chance to be reborn in the fire of love one day for my repayment?
Could there ever measure enough to fill my tears of Christmas ?

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 12/25/2012)