No Sleep Until the Dawn

Sometimes all you need
is a push that makes you bleed

So that it wakes you up
when reality makes it tough

Like the cold of winters touch
or the call of something else

When you have it deep down inside
something wrong and nothing else

Every morning become a challenge
can't get no sleep until the dawn

My mind's in a mental whirlwind
when my brain just won't shut up

Oh I can't turn it off
too many questions that start with why
too many answers in preconceived scenarios

It makes me cringe and grow so cold
deep down inside the ice still flows

Day after day you know I've tried
to forget the way you make me cry

Drowning my sorrow until I pass out
but this ain't no way to live, if it's living at all

How can those simple words
bring down my house of cards

How can they topple all of my defenses
how can they tear down my walls
how can they make me so vulnerable

I want to die...I want to die
I want to die...I want to die...I want to die
I want to die...I want to die
I want to die...I want to die...I want to die

Please let me die
Just let me die

I want to die...I want to die
I want to die...I want to die...I want to die
I want to die...I want to die
I want to die...I want to die...I want to die

Please let me die
Just let me die

In my dreams I call out your name
I look to my side but you're always gone
In my fear I hold your pillow tight

I can't get no sleep until the dawn
I can't get no sleep until the dawn
I can't get no sleep until the dawn
I can't get no sleep until the dawn

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 1/30/2015)

Pushing and Pulling

We're gonna break
cuz something gotta give
this constant stress
it just won't let us live

Oh this life,
as the way we want it
you want to pull
and i want to push

Nothing can help the magneticity
there's always this static electricity
and it's driving us apart
while it's pulling us in

We're looking down both barrels
lining it up, looking for our target
trying our best to resist an itchy finger
hesitant to be the first to pull the trigger

Not wanting to be the first one
to give up on forever, like we promised
not wanting to be the lonely one
when it's all done and we know it's over

We gotta return to reality, when we're ready
can't force a broken heart to start too early
cuz it won't and you know you know it

The hurt and the pain
it just keeps going, you feel it
and the crying seems like it's the rain
it keeps coming and coming, down on you

You rack your brain to make sense of it all
thinking how in the hell did i end up here
this isn't what i wanted, this isn't what i dreamed

Oh this life,
as the way we want it
we're gonna break
cuz something gotta give

You want to pull
and i want to push
this constant stress
it just won't let us live

Ya we're looking down both barrels
lining it up, looking for our target
and it's driving us apart
while it's pulling us in

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 1/29/2015)

Oh I Lost my Soul !

Did your lips
all painted up and poisonous,
just attack me
You know i can't resist
ya... i'm doomed

Now did those hips
all pressed up against me
oh how accidentally, oops !
Then you shove me
and we fall

There's no time for mistakes
i gotta run, gotta get outta of here
You know when the devil wears a red dress
someone's gonna lose their soul

The lights are all off
but i can feel you getting close
There's a freezing cold
connected with your every touch

For far too long
sitting all alone day by day
with you keeping me in the dark
while you go out and play

My heart grows cold
this weather so unfavorable
the way you make it rain
what am i supposed to do

You're in my mind
making me insane
All of these scenarios
but which one is to blame

We both know
I've given you everything
and you've given nothing in return

But I've been a fool
for lesser things

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 1/15/2015)

The Final Silencing

Well today i finally fade away
i know in my heart no one will pray
because nothing good every hung from my name
except for two things that I'll always rave
if that was what i was only here to do
then I've done my part and it's time to go
i never had one regret when it comes to them
only that circumstance never let me close within
so today there's no turning back the hands of time
no pushing forward or hoping my next turn is passing go
never a Bishop or a King just a pawn on a checkered board
i worked and i worked always giving and rewarded with pain
i'm so tired beyond what they will allow or measure
as long as they always get what gives them pleasure
am i not a person ? am i not the father ?
to all of you that it concerns gladly always laughing
running around in your delight that i'm legally quilled into silence
but it's you who that have done all the wrongs and not the right's
covering it up with all the statutes and hiding behind blind ignorance
so no matter what i do to try and right what was wronged
i'm sunken and pushed deeper and deeper into the quickening
only the tip of my head has yet to get dappled and covered
so you see today is the day i will finally fade away
the only thing left will be the unpaid bills of strife
but i will be no more and free from this non-being of life.

It's a Rainy Day That Changes Me

The mornings come and its still dark
and i try to stumble my way about
yet it's time to start another day
but i don't want to

Everyone else is feeling fine
you can see it in their morning smile
but its harder than it use to be
living this life on this train wreck

I know they try to struggle with it too
day to day trying just to cover up the truth
the weight of it all the pressure pressing down
sometimes it even searches out the heart

But here comes yet another rainy day
falling down in drones making up misery
even in the night sending chills right up my spine
trying with all its might to drown me out

The pounding in my head wont let me sleep
the endless tinkling of the watery drops
its like it want to send me to an early grave
where it knows there will be no escape

But everyone else is just feeling fine
sickens you to see it in their morning smile
because it's even harder than it use to be
when you're living this life on this train wreck

Then one day while you lay there
someone tries to reach you through your darkness
pulling back just in time when you snap at them
but the goodness in their heart over whelms the grey

It's always a rainy day that changes me
something about the way it fades away
i can always hear it when it's coming
the pounding getting louder when it plays

It's always a rainy day that changes me
something about the way it smells when it leaves
like a heavy weight that keeps on giving
i just hold my breath until i'm blue waiting for relief

(by Roelin Davis all rights reserved 11/6/2014)

little drippings

there's just little drippings left
reminders of memories past
a minor window in their round bow
shows just a glimpse of sullen lit light

they slowly trail and then they fall
they wobble as they might until they conform
their tails following being pulled down
freedom complete in flight until they drown

splattered or swallowed upon the ground
soaking up the dust and spitting it out
scrambling for brothers or sisters
solemnly situated and lucky if found

pooling or not to each had no concern
lost from the first thought during original sin
premised, denial, unsanctioned or ill-intent
shadowed, caged, harbored, founded resent

no path, no road, no way, or no scent
memories, synectics, old dreams, no sleep
these are the things that creep when you peak
rem synced, nose bleeds, cold sweat, epileptical fit

hot blood, cold hands, strong will, hold on to your pillow
some time, no time, all time, the end already in sight
deep thought, no loss, temper tantrum, hot flash
evil's loose, on the run, no shelter from threatened harm

warm sun, morning dew, early bird, looking at you
sweet smells, far off bells, oceans roar, slow kiss
wrap your arms, cuddle close, slip inside, shut the door
last good bye, no more taste, out of focus, super bright light

There's That Sound

Some days there's a certain song
that grabs you by the heart and soul

It means so many special things
sometimes it catches you by surprise

It can even bring a tear to your eye
could be it reminds you of everything
your life all summed up in what it means

Could be it reminds you of your past
what you lost never to get back

And then some days you hear a song
and it reminds you of better days

It brings a special smile to your face
that only you know the secret to its pace

And it could be the one to make you laugh
making you think its been way too long
since you took a chance to let someone in

So don't you worry too much
soon enough they will play our song

Bringing back all those memories
so wonderful and so magical

They will make you light on your feet
sometimes they make you feel complete

Maybe you were having a bad day
and it was just what you need

Some days there's a certain song
that grabs you by the heart and soul

It means so many special things
sometimes it catches you by surprise

Isn't that what life is all about
oh...there's that sound